We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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