ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I got inside last night via doggy door
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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