isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
