is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize