I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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