my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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