haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
