at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
