So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
porn star boner night. come get it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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