What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
