I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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