Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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