May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
