Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
These tits shall not be calmed
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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