You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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