Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
