You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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