when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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