oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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