Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
