Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
