If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't think brook has ever known best
love makes seman taste better
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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