Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
