i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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