I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
