5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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