You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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