I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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