dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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