I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
