My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
