I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
