We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
