How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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