I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Randomize
