i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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