Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
