end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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