I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I FOUND THE LEGS
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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