I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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