I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
not ubering you a puppy
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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