That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
