Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
