thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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