Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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