My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
