No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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