i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i think i just lost a toe
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
