He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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