Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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